Dear Journal Jim, Jim, Jim – thinking about the senseless murder of Jim by men who never knew him or disliked him except for his nationality. I began to realise that the world is changing everyday and I can’t stop it. I started to stroll down the undulating dunes of the gold coast towards the vast desolate beaches. My feet sunk down into the sand and the thousands of tiny white sand grains slipped down into my shoes. I reached the pounding shore and lay my equipment on the ground.
Jim, Ashley and I where completely different people in terms of our social standing’s but our undying love and compassion for the birds brought us together. Nothing could take that from us. All I could think of is, “What am I doing,” on this sphere they call Earth, “why am I here” and more importantly why was Jim taken off this planet. Is life a metaphor for something bigger and if so, what is it? There is some comfort that I feel knowing that Jim has gone to a better place, a place that he knows is a sacred haven. As I looked at the perfectly formed white and peaceful dunes stretching endlessly along the coast I think of how transcendental and peaceful the beach is compared to where Jim was before he died. When I think about the waste and lives that this war has ravaged, I feel like yelling out.
I contemplate about how upset Jim’s father was when I saw him and I couldn’t bear it, I felt like breaking down and weeping. The waves are the most perfect creation of God; the ocean is one huge swell that rushes towards of beachfront, searching for a special place were they might show their power and life purpose. They may spend a lifetime roaming the ocean and when they finally reach the shore, their force spent and not even a single man may see it, and if so, is it a wasted wave? The power, force and beauty of those waves last only a few seconds and yet how many humans appreciate those seconds. These thoughts that were roaming around in my head made me think of Jim and his life. To me, Jim’s life was a short but significant one. Where he touched so many of us, but mostly Ashley’s and I.
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Whenever, I think of the first time I met Jim, I visualize a man who seemed so confident and always had his own firm opinions. He seemed to be continually dazzled and displayed appreciation for the birds or for anything that was found in this great and vast landscape. Jim was taken away before he could reach his shore and show the world what he could do. Just as the surfer had been tossed off the wave suddenly, it was as though Jim had one day just fallen off the edge of the Earth never to be seen again. His love for nature, that’s what I think about and even at war he would have made the most of it by observing the birds, or showing his affection for this planet and everything on it. This is what first inspired me to think of Jim as the surfer, the surfers enthusiasm for the surf reminds me of Jim’s passion for the environment.
I still don’t know why I brought my camera down, I just guess that I was hoping that I would be able to capture anything, a bird, wave, wallaby. If only life had a pause button to freeze the frame of a perfect moment. As I sit here and observe the surfboard rider and the majestic way that he slides across the water and the wave plays with the rider and flicks him off his board, he then grabs his board and heads straight back out in order to find the perfect wave. Although Jim and I captured perfect moments I was never able to capture everything that made Jim special. I now know that the world will never be the same, “the past would not hold and could not be held.” The past will not influence what happens in the future, the social standing’s that separated the three of us are deteriorating.
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All the men who sign up for the war had different social standings but once they hit the field they were the same men. As I watch a flock of birds that fly in the air yesterday all I could think of is how much freedom the birds have, and how Jim is a slave to war. War is the most evil useless and most destroying of all man’s inventions. War is an atrocity and demeans the human race. This is the first time that I have ever seen a board be used like this. He forces me to realise that I don’t have to like change but in order to live in this ever growing world I need to accept it and not become to agitated by it as many improvements help our inner self.
I wished Jim was here sharing that moment with me. I know he would have found a fascination with the board rider and his harmony with the surging sea. Perhaps he is watching and sitting with me and trying to accept this new world.